By Vicente Velasco (Tatyandacil)
Thanks to Tatyandacil for kindly permitting me to have his poem on my
page - despite a very few potentially controversial points, this is a fine
piece of Quenya. The spelling is according to the specifications of the poet
(I would have used C rather than K throughout). Translation (by the poet),
my comments interspersed:
HRÍVERESSË
IN A WINTER'S DAY
Et marinyallo mallenna
From my home to the street
vantan hríveressë helka,
I walk in a cold winter's day,
nu fanyarë fuinehiswa,
under shadowy-grey skies,
lumboinen Naira nurtaina.
the sun hidden by clouds.
The poet asked me to mention that he is not sure about the form
marinyallo; perhaps it should be mardinyallo if oromardi
"high halls" in Namárië contains a form of már
, mar "home" rather than an independent word *mardë
"hall"; cf. sar "stone", stem sard- as in pl. sardi.
The word nurtaina "hidden" is the past participle of *nurta-
"hide"; this verbal stem is isolated from nurtalë "hiding",
attested in the phrase Nurtalë Valinóreva or "Hiding of
Valinor" mentioned in the Silmarillion.
Hláranyë ringa Formessúrë,
I hear the cold Northwind
asúy' aldassen úlassië,
blowing through the leafless trees,
alussa olbalissë nornë,
whispering in the twisted branches,
alamya ve Nuru-nainië.
sounding like a Death-lament.
Formessúrë = formen + súrë
with assimilation ns > ss. The verb asúy'
is ellided from asúya; see below. Úlassië
"leafless", pl. of. *úlassëa, sc. ú- "un-" +
lassë "leaf" + the adjectival ending -a, hence literally
"unleaved".
Olbalissë is the partitive pl. locative of olba
"branch" [PM:340]; the Etymologies gives olwa [GÓLOB],
and I would generally prefer the latter form. Nornë is the pl.
of norna "stiff, tough" [WJ:413], though the poet here uses the
translation "twisted".
Formessúrë-yalmë quéla,
The clamour of the Northwind fades,
ar Númello holtan hwesta
and from the West I smell a
nísima asúya ninna,
fragrant Zephyr blowing towards me,
ar nainië ahya lírinna.
and the lament changes to song.
The verb *quel- "fade" is based on the stem KWEL and the noun
quellë "fading, late autumn". Verb *holta- "to smell",
based on the stem ÑOL whence Quenya holmë "odour";
some,
including the poet, doubt that this is the correct reading. The stem ÑOL
means "smell" in the intransitive sense (give out a smell instead of sensing a smell),
but the ending -ta is often used to derive transitive verbs and hopefully gives
"smell" a transitive meaning. -Adj. nísima "fragrant" isolated from the
name of the Nísimaldar or "Fragrant trees" of Númenor
(UT:167); verb ahya- "change", attested in the past tense,
ahyanë, in PM:395. *Lírinna rather than
*lírenna as the allative of lírë "song"
is a questionable - but also defendable - form.
Kénan tuilindo awilë
I see a swallow flying
Hyarmello úrima súrë,
from the South, the hot wind
nu rámaryat circa-cantë,
under its sickle-shaped wings
alir' aldannar úlassië
singing towards the leafless trees.
Alir' is elided from alirë; cf. awilë
in the first line of this stanza. The poet makes good use of the prefix
a-, that prefixed to a verbal stem indicates what something is doing
while it is also the object of another verb, like "I see a swallow
flying". Concerning our attested examples of this prefix, see my
comments on the Markirya poem. That "basic" verbal stems, derived directly from
primitive roots without any suffix, may take the ending -ë
is seen from the attested example ava carë "don't do [it]";
cf. car- "do, make". Contrast asúya - elided
asúy' - and alussa from the non-basic verbs
súya- "breathe" and lussa- "whisper" in the second
stanza.
Autar i lumbor, ar Naira
The clouds pass, and I see
kénan anúta Númenna,
the Sun setting in the West,
et Rómello Tilion orta,
and from the East the Moon rises,
ar undómess' elen síla.
and in the twilight the star shines.
Naira, Tilion: other names of the Sun and Moon, besides the more usual terms Anar, Isil. The name Naira is also found earlier in the poem.
Ar lómelindë-lírinen,
And by the song of the nightingale
entúlan yanna ettullen,
I return to whence I came,
nu menel elentintaina,
under the starlit heavens,
hrívëo lómessë sina.
in this winter's evening.
Ettul- *"come out", et- "out, forth" + tul- "come". Translated "be at hand" in SD:290.